


is this love?

by Sassystephy33



Category: CrankGameplays - Fandom, markiplier - Fandom, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Anxiety Attacks, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sorry Not Sorry, hella hurt ethan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2018-10-01 18:50:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 13,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10196855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sassystephy33/pseuds/Sassystephy33
Summary: Ethan was put through absolute hell and yet he called it love. Will Tyler be able to teach him what love really is?





	1. obeying

“Ethan, hey wake up.” a gentle voice spoke while shaking the blue haired boy whose figure was slumped in front of his computer. With a few more shakes the sleeping boy woke up and groggily rubbed his eyes then looked at who woke him. “Hey sleepyhead, had a nice nap?” 

Once Ethan’s eyes cleared he saw the one who woke him was none other than Tyler, one of his best friends. “Sorry, I dozed off for a few minutes.” 

“Few minutes?” Tyler laughed then looked down at his watch, “Bro you’ve been out for 3 hours!” Tyler shook his head as he continued to chuckle. 

“3 hours?!” Ethan exclaimed looking down at his own watch, seeing it was already 7:45 pm. “Shit, shit, shit.” the blue boy mumbled under his breath while frantically scrambling for his phone. His breathing became irregular once he saw he had 20 missed calls and 13 unread texts from his boyfriend. Almost immediately Ethan began to save everything on his computer and collect his things at a very fast past. 

“Hey, hey woah calm down Eth,” Tyler laughter died off once he saw Ethan’s panicked look, “Is everything okay?” The taller male was becoming a bit worried due to Ethan’s off behavior. 

Ethan racked his brain for some sort of excuse that will allow him to leave as soon as possible, “Yeah, nothing to worry ‘bout. Just Danny had made a special meal tonight for the two of us and it was supposed to be at 6.” Ethan plastered his best smile he could just so Tyler wouldn’t question him more, “Well don’t wanna leave him waiting, tell everyone I said bye!” Before Tyler could even reply Ethan was out the door rushing to his car leaving Tyler in a confused state. 

As soon as the car door closed Ethan picked up his phone and quickly dialed his boyfriend. Only after 2 rings Danny picked up, “About fucking time Ethan.”  
Ethan’s breath hitched at the tone of his voice, “I’m s-so-sorry, I fell a-as-sleep a-at my desk a-and didn’t s-see the t-time.” he rushed out in one breath his voice quivering with every word. Putting the car in drive he speed off towards Danny’s house. “I’m-” 

“Shut the fuck up,” Ethan’s teeth clicked together and be pressed his lips closed tight so they wouldn’t tremble. “Stop lying to me! You know fully well that on Fridays you are to be at my house no later than 6.” 

“D-danny plea-” Ethan began but was cut off once again

“Don’t call me Danny, you are in some deep shit.” Venom was practically dripping from Danny’s words. 

“Yes Sir, I’m sorry Sir.” Ethan tried to contain himself but he knows all too well when he has to call Danny Sir, nothing good ever comes of it. 

“You can’t even remember simple rules, but don’t worry I’ll remind you.” Danny’s voice held a sinister undertone to it which made Ethan start to cry. 

"Please," Ethan begged quietly, "I'll do better, it was a mistake and I'll do better, I just—" 

"Shut up." His lips immediately closed again and more tears were brought to his eyes. “Save your excuses for someone who cares. If you can’t follow the rules I have to punish you” The line went dead leaving Ethan in tears as he sped down the streets to the house. 

Once he finally arrived Ethan ran to the door and pulled out the key Danny gave him. Taking a deep breath the blue haired boy pushed the door open and braced himself. “Well look who decided to show up.” 

“S-sir please Im s-sorry.” Ethan cried out trying to calm his boyfriend, “Please I fell asleep.” The tears began to cascade down his cheeks as trembles ran through his body in fear of what was to come. His eyes stayed glue to the floor not wanting to meet the older, taller man’s glare. 

“Oh please, you’re so pathetic Ethan.” Danny stated standing up towering over the frightened boy, “Look at me when I talk to you.” His voice was sharp and demanding. Reluctantly looking up Ethan tried to will his eyes to dry, “Stop it with those pathetic tears we both know you’re faking them.” Ethan knew that he was in for hell based on the amount of anger in Danny’s eyes. 

“I’m sorry s-sir, I’m s-sorry, I’m sorry, so so sorry” He sounded like a damn broken record but he honestly couldn’t care less.

“Don’t you worry my little baby, I’ll take good care of you” an evil smile graced Danny’s lips as he advances towards the trembling blue haired boy.


	2. aftermath

Ethan tried his best not to limp when he walked into the office that Monday. The blue haired boy couldn’t leave his boyfriend’s house quick enough that morning and so he was the first one at the office. Running a hand through his tangled mess of blue hair, Ethan went to his desk and pulled out a small bag that contained makeup. When he went to look into the bathroom mirror Ethan could not help but wince at the horrible black and blue blotches that scattered his face, the deep dark hand shaped bruise on his neck, the dark circles that outlined his under eyes, and his eyes. Oh god his eyes, the ones that once burned so brightly with hope and gleamed with so much love, have fallen dull and sunk into his skull tiredly. Those eyes have been sucked dry of everything good and just held just only one single emotion. Fear. 

Taking a deep breath, Ethan made quick work of covering his whole face and neck in layers of concealer and foundation. The blue haired boy cleaned up the mess and stashed the bag back into his desk. Throwing on an oversized hoodie Ethan ran slightly shaking hands through his unkempt hair in an attempt to sort out the mess.   
Ethan carefully sat down, with much trouble, on his computer chair and began to continue his unfinished work from Friday. He didn’t look up once until he heard someone enter the office. Tensing slightly Ethan turned around but soon relaxed when he realized it was just Tyler. “Hey Ty, you’re in early.” 

Tyler sat down at his desk and rolled his chair over to Ethan, “So are you.” Tyler checked the time and ran his hand through his hair, “besides I wanted to get in early for once since I’m usually late.” 

Ethan let out a forced laugh that sounded almost real to anyone none the wiser. “Well congrats you made it.”

“Mhmm,” Tyler hummed pulling out his phone and mess around on it for awhile, “Hey wanna go get breakfast at the diner down the street before anyone gets here?” Tyler suggested with a hopeful smile. 

At hearing diner Ethan’s stomach growled hungrily due to not eating all weekend. Part of Danny’s cruel twisted punishment was that Ethan wasn’t allowed to eat anything that didn’t contain peanuts. So it was either starve from no food or eat something containing peanuts and possibly die from an allergic reaction. 

Ethan winced slightly at the memories of Danny’s punishments that took place over the weekend. Quickly Ethan composed himself and focused on the man in front of him, “Yeah that would be great!” he tried to sound as genuine as he could manage. 

Ethan grabbed his phone and got up as gently as he could as to not irritate the rest of his beaten and sore body. Tyler sent him a curious glance but didn’t say anything as they walked out the front door and into the breezy LA morning air. 

Wrapping his arms around himself Ethan let out whine, “Is it just me or is colder than normal today.” 

“I don’t really think so but here take this.” Tyler stopping walking for second and shrugged off his jacket then placed it on Ethan’s shoulders, “I was getting kinda warm anyway.” 

The blue haired boy felt his cheeks burn slightly with a blush but it was probably not visible due to the makeup that covers his face. Squeaking out a thank you, Ethan pulled the oversized jacket tighter around him and enveloped himself in more of the welcoming warmth. The scent of Tyler rose to Ethan’s nose casing his cheeks to become hotter. 

Truth be told Ethan has had a crush on Tyler ever since he moved to LA but he didn’t believe Tyler returned his feelings. He pushed aside all thoughts about loving Tyler and he met Danny. In the beginning of their relationship everything was perfect, they loved each other to no end and so Ethan believed he moved on from Tyler. But overtime Danny changed, he was became more hostile and Ethan found himself constantly walking on eggshells. Danny taught Ethan that he was the only one who could ever love him and be able to put up with him. Ethan leaned against his will to stay inferior and just follow rules. If he obeys the rules then he will not be punished or hurt, it was simple. Or so it seemed. 

They soon arrived at the diner, at which Tyler held the door open for Ethan like a gentleman then they sat down. After carefully examining the menu and triple checking to make sure there were absolutely no peanuts in any of the food, they ordered and started to chatter about anything. Everything was going well until Tyler took a closer look at Ethan’s neck, “Hey is that a bruise on your neck?” It seemed to be an innocent question but it made Ethan’s heart stop for a second and his breath to hitch. 

“Um, I’m not sure why you ask?” Ethan responded not exactly answering the prompt as he inwardly cursed at himself for not focusing on his neck with more concealer. 

“It’s very light but uh,” Tyler continued uncertainly, “It uh looks to be in the shape of a uh hand.” 

Ethan ‘s breathing picked up but he tried to calm himself and come up with some sort of excuse because he could not get caught. One of biggest Danny’s rules is that no matter what Ethan can not tell anyone about anything because according to Danny nobody would be able to understand the “dynamic” of their relationship. God knows what he would do if Ethan broke the most important rule. 

The blue haired boy cleared his throat, “Uh well you see uh,” Come on he had think of something, anything, “Th-things got kinda uh r-rough? This weekend.” He prayed to whatever God was up there to have Tyler just move on. 

“You sure?” Tyler questioned worriedly, “Cause I’ve kinda noticed that you haven’t been yourself lately.” Tyler looked Ethan dead in the eyes with a strong stone face. His face may have been empty of emotions but his eyes were filled with worry and concern. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed the makeup.” 

Ethan’s heart dropped and formed a rock in his stomach, “W-what are you getting a-at?” Ethan questioned trying to turn it back to Tyler. 

“All I’m saying is I care about you okay?” Tyler said gently his face softening when Ethan nodded in response, “And I am very worried about you because it is very clear to see that you have changed since you got with Danny.” Tyler took a deep breath when he saw Ethan stiffen but he forced himself to continue, “Ethan you know you can tell us anything, including if Danny is hurting yo-” 

“NO!” Ethan exclaimed a little too quickly making Tyler and a few people around him jump a bit. Ethan softened his composure and lowered his head a bit, “No, h-he just-- no just no.” 

“I’m not blind Ethan.” Tyler simply stated but before he could continue the waitress brought their food and Ethan began to eat at an alarming rate. Tyler allowed the situation to move on but not without making a mental note to bring it back up later.


	3. inevitable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> important note at the end

The walk back to the office was almost painfully tense, each boy not really knowing what to say to the other. Eventually Ethan couldn’t take the atmosphere around them and broke the silence in a quiet voice, “I’m sorry.” 

 

Tyler looked down questioningly at the smaller male, “For what?” 

Ethan looked up at the taller with an empty face but with something indistinguishable hinting in his eyes, “I shouldn’t have been so defencive back there, I just got scared.” Ethan instantly regretted the last part of his sentence but he was unable to take it back. 

Tyler’s eyes widened a bit in surprise and concern, “Scared? Of what?” A bunch of questions ran through Tyler’s head as his worry skyrocketed through the roof. Now Tyler knew for certain that something was completely wrong. 

An inkling of panic coursed through Ethan’s face but he still kept his mostly solid composure, “Forget I said that.” Tyler was about to respond until he got got cut off, “Danny?!” Ethan announced when he looked away from Tyler.

Tyler looked in the direction that Ethan was looking and lo and behold Danny was standing in front of the office holding a bouquet of roses. Ethan looked almost conflicted but he went up to his boyfriend and hesitantly gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. “Babe what are you doing here?” He managed to keep his voice steady and almost normal. 

“What aren’t you happy to see me?” Danny stated sounding playful but anyone with half a brain can tell that he was offended. 

Unmistakable fear flashed through the blue haired boy’s dull eyes, “No no no, not at all, I just thought you had work today.” Ethan willed every muscle in his body to not to start shaking.

Danny handed Ethan the beautiful flowers and flashed him a sinking smile that made Tyler even uneasy, “I did but I thought I’d take the day off and spoil my little baby.” Tyler saw Ethan take a deep breath as he opened the front door and held it open for the two guys. Tyler passed by Danny and was met with a burning glare from the slightly shorter but definitely smaller male. 

Greeting Mark, Amy, and Kathryn with a hello, Tyler sat at his desk and watched as Ethan placed the flowers down on his desk as Danny came up behind him and whispered something into his ear. Ethan’s frame seemed to have stiffen and a slight tremble was seen in his hand. Danny pulled away and Ethan led him to a different room. 

Tyler groaned and slumped back into his chair. Kathryn noticed his uneasy look that graced Tyler’s face, “Tyler is something wrong?” 

Tyler nodded his head, “I’m not sure what it is but something is going on between Ethan and Danny.” 

Mark snickered not realizing how serious the situation is, “There is, it’s called them being in a relationship.” Tyler rolled his eyes, “Oh come on, just cause you're in love with Ethan doesn’t mean-”

Tyler abruptly cut Mark off, “I’m being serious, I have a feeling that Ethan is in danger.” 

Amy now interested in the conversation leaned in, “What kind of danger? From like Danny?” getting a nod in response Amy continued, “What makes you think that?” 

Tyler sighed, “Isn’t it so obvious to see that Ethan has changed so much since he met Danny? And he just seems to I don’t know be always on edge.” The three of them nodded their heads after a moment of thought. 

They continued to talk about the situation but stopped when voices from another got louder. One voice was definitely louder than the other as they went back and forth. “Are they arguing?” Mark asked breaking the silence between the four of them. Tyler looked at the closed door in worry as he paid close attention to the sounds radiating from behind the door. 

The arguing went on for a few minutes but then was cut off by a loud thump followed by a crash and the sound of glass breaking. The one voice got much louder as another crash was heard. Tyler could not control himself anymore, he jumped from his seat and ran towards the door in a hurry. Before Tyler even touched the handle, the door slammed open revealing a red faced Danny who shoved passed him roughly and stormed out the office. Anger flooded Tyler’s system’s and he was about to run after the terrible excuse for a human but a small whimper was heard from the room and every ounce of rage drained from him to replaced with disquiet. 

Tyler’s eyes fell towards the floor as he saw a shaking figure crouched over the remnants of the glass table that was once in the room. Tyler rushed down to Ethan’s level and grabbed the boy’s frantic hands that were trying to sweep up the glass. The blue haired boy tried to rip himself from the strong grip but it was useless. Looking down at his bloody hands Ethan began to sob brokenly. His breathing became labored and Tyler can clearly see he is having a panic attack. 

“Ethan calm down,” Tyler’s voice was as even as he could make it, “Please, I need you to breath okay?” Tyler pulled Ethan away from the mess of broken glass and let go of his wrists to cup the blue haired boy’s cheeks. Tyler tried to ignore the boy’s evident flinch and continued to talk to him, “Come on Ethan breath okay? I need you to calm down. Please.” 

Without much thought Tyler engulfed Ethan into a hug, the smaller boy tried to fight a bit but eventually gave up and went slack. Tyler continued to whisper calming words to Ethan as his breathing began to even out and his heart wasn’t beating as frantically as before. 

After a few minutes of just staying on the floor, Tyler pulled them both to their feet and picked up Ethan, “Come on baby blue, let’s go fix up your hands.” Ethan was too exhausted to protest anything so he just let himself be carried away to the bathroom. 

Tyler sat the still slightly shaking boy onto the sink counter and then turned around to grab the first aid kit. His years of boy scout training paid off, since he was able to easily bandage Ethan. Stealing glances up at Ethan he noticed the tears that still dripped down the boy’s cheeks. The once emerald eyes have seemed to become a dull grey with the slightest hint of green. A millions thoughts ran through the curly haired man but the one that was the most prominent was, what exactly has Ethan through? 

Once he finished removing all glass, disinfecting and bandaging the wounds Tyler grabbed the silent boy and brought him to a couch in the office. Placing him down Tyler decided the best thing for Ethan right now was a nap so he can clear his head and hopefully be up to talking to Tyler. Grabbing a few blankets and a pillow from the closet Tyler wrapped Ethan in them so he looked something close to a cocoon. Ethan didn’t say anything but he seemed to hum in content. Tyler laid him down and ran a hand through his hair lovingly. He has no idea what came over today but Tyler felt such a strong urge to look after the boy. Tyler looked down to the boy smiled sadly, who would ever want to hurt such an innocent soul. Tyler swallowed his anger and mumbled softly the dozing boy, “Get some rest love, when you wake up hopefully we can talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey okay so wow, i posted this story literally a week ago and I already have 350+ hits, 7 bookmarks, 2 comments and 45 kudos!!! omfg thank you so much! I really hope you all are enjoying the story because I'm having a blast writing it (sorry ethan)   
> it would really mean a lot though if i could get some more feed back on if you're guys are enjoying the story or about what you would like to see in the future of the story. any and all feedback is welcomed! once again thank you so much for the crazy support ^-^


	4. truth be told

Ethan has no idea how long he was out for but when he finally started to come to he heard voices near him, over his sleepy haze he wasn’t able to tell what they were saying. Ethan opened his eyes but closed them quickly when he was met with bright lights. Opening his eyes once again he allowed them to adjust as he sat up and took in his surroundings. Through his daze he saw Tyler, Mark, Amy and Kathryn sitting near him. He was confused for a moment but the memories from earlier today flooded in and fear soon took over. 

They all sat around waiting for something to happen, Ethan sat criss cross on the couch staring down at his hands. He knew that his friends knew something was up and he wanting to so badly, just spill everything. But fear has been engraved in Ethan. Fear of being judged, fear of being called weak, fear of losing his friends, and oh god the fear of what Danny would do. 

“Ethan,” Mark was the bravest to be the first one to speak, “Are you okay?” It was a stupid question but it was a start. Ethan just shrugged his shoulders but continued to stare at his twiddling hands. 

“What happened today?” Tyler was the next to speak up. Receiving a shake of the blue haired boy's head he continued, “Please Eth talk to us, you can trust us.” 

Ethan’s hands fidgeted more as he weighed his odds. He could just tell them everything and finally be open for once but Danny will be mad. Forget mad he’d be infuriated, God knows what Danny is capable of. “He’ll be mad.” Ethan finally answered in a small voice. 

“Who will be? Danny?” Amy asked softly trying to coax the boy into talking more.

The blue haired boy nodded his head and tears formed in his eyes. God he just wanted to tell them everything why can’t he? It was mainly due to fear but there was a small portion of him that believed that everything Danny did was right. Every punishment, insult, bruise, broken bone he deserved them and Danny was right. If he was just a better person he wouldn’t be hurt. 

“Forget Danny okay? It’s only you right now.” Tyler took a deep breath to try and contain his anger. “It’s only you and us, your friends. Please Ethan. You can trust us.” It wasn’t a statement it was a fact. 

Ethan felt as if someone has finally opened his dam doors and allowed everything flood free. Tears whelmed in his eyes as he told them as much as he could in between shaky breaths. Something came over him and he for the first time he told people the truth about Danny. Nobody said anything but they listened closely. They could not believe anything they heard, how could they not have noticed? 

Once he was done Ethan dissolved into a series sobs that wracked through his small frame. Ethan misread their silence as them being disgusted and ashamed of him which made him sob even more. But soon enough a strong set of arms wrapped around him protectively. Ethan was stiff for a moment but melted into the warm embrace. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Ethan.” a deep voice murmured, Ethan realized it was Tyler who was holding him. 

“What do you mean?” Ethan asked looking up at the man holding him. To his surprise tears filled Tyler’s icy blue eyes as he tried to hold a strong face but was failing quickly. 

“I should have noticed sooner, I should have said something. God I’m so sorry.” Tyler’s voice was laced with so much sorrow and guilt it broke Ethan’s heart to hear him like that.   
Before Ethan can say anything in protest another set of strong arms wrapped around him. More tears collected in his eyes when he realized it was Mark. Why did they care so much? Ethan could not understand why instead of making fun of him and calling him weak they were hugging him and crying. It’s been repeated to him too many times that nobody cared about him besides Danny. He was made to believe that only Danny could ever love him that nobody else did. 

Fuck, Danny. For the first time since he started to talk Ethan realized what he just did. He went against Danny’s biggest rule, he told them the truth about their relationship. Realization of how much trouble he’s going to be in finally set in. The blue haired boy’s breathing became labored at thoughts of his future punishments. Oh God how could he be so stupid?

When Tyler realized Ethan was at the pre stages of a panic attack his hold on him became tighter and he began rubbing soothing circles on his back. “Ethan calm down, you’re okay.” 

“He’s gonna be so mad.” Ethan said, talking more so to himself, “How could I be so stupid to break the most important rule?” He furiously tried to rub away his tears but it was no use there were too many.

“We’ll protect you, okay?” Tyler stated firmly, “We all will.” Everyone nodded in agreement. 

Tyler loosened his hold on the small boy. He tried to look him in the eyes but Ethan refused to meet his gaze. Tyler gently lifted up his chin, ignoring the flinch that was so evident. “You’ve been alone far too long. But now and until forever we will always be at your side protecting you.” Tyler did not miss the way hope flashed in Ethan’s emerald eyes or how for the first time in what feels like forever Ethan smiled. It was a small dainty smile but a smile nonetheless.


	5. threats and promises

“So what do you want for dinner?” Tyler questioned once they made it safely inside their house later that night. When they entered Tyler made sure to double check that every door and window is locked then they sat down on their couch and tried to relax for a bit. 

Ethan shrugged his shoulders and let out a quiet ‘i don’t know’ but otherwise remained pretty much silent. Ever since the conversation at the office Ethan didn’t feel up for talking much. This made Tyler worried cause Ethan was always the one to be bouncing off the walls talking about everything. The more Tyler thought about it the more he questioned if it was all just an act. How long has Ethan been pretending? 

The curly haired brunette sighed and suggested they order pizza. Receiving a nod of approval Tyler stood up and ordered a large pizza with pineapples. He didn’t really mind pineapple pizza but it was Ethan’s favorite so he gladly ordered it in hopes of seeing him smile just a bit more. Once Tyler returned to the couch he noticed Ethan scrolled through his phone quickly and he seemed to be becoming upset. Tyler sat down next to him and pulled him to his side, “What’s the matter Eth?” 

Ethan sighed and showed Tyler his phone, no use hiding it. Tyler examined the screen and scoffed at the messages Danny was sending him. There were dozens of messages that started off as an apology and promises of there won’t be a repeat of today. But then the more the messages continued the easier it was to see how angry he was becoming due to Ethan not answering.

Tyler extended his hand, “May I?” Ethan gave him a questioning look but handed him his phone with shaky hands making Tyler smile at him trustingly, “I’m going to block him on everything of yours okay?” Ethan seemed hesitant at first but nodded after a moment of thought. Once Tyler was done Ethan was given back his phone which he tucked into his pocket then he paused for a moment then adjusted himself closer to Tyler causing the taller male to smile warmly. 

“Thank you.” Ethan mumbled into Tyler’s broad chest after a few moments. A soft ‘you’re welcome’ was heard and a gentle hand ran through his blue hair which made him to visibly relax more. 

They stayed like that for awhile until the doorbell was heard, ripping them from their calming moment. Ethan let out a quiet whimper at the thought of who could be at the door. Tyler rubbed his head softly then stood up and went to answer the door. Once the door was open Tyler had to control every fiber of his being not to straight out attack who was standing there. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Tyler bit out sharply at Danny who tried to stand there with an innocent look. 

“What I can’t visit my boyfriend?” Danny responded with a small laugh and tried to shove pass Tyler who shoved him back away from the door. 

“Not after the stunt you pulled today,” Tyler retorted bitterly, “Get the fuck off our property, Ethan is not your boyfriend anymore.” 

Danny’s jaw clenched and his eyes became narrow, “Who the hell are you to tell me that? I’m seeing my boyfriend.” He made another attempt to get around the taller male but was quickly shoved away once more, “I don’t think Ethan would be happy you’re keeping me away from him.” His voice was smug as he tried to use Ethan against Tyler. 

“I’m not going to tell you again Ethan is no longer your boyfriend.” Tyler said firmly as he swallowed his anger. If he lashed out like Danny then he is no better than him. Tyler took a calming breath, “One last time get the fuck off our property.” 

Danny’s face was flushed red and his eyes burned brightly with venom. Then he did one thing that surprised Tyler, he began to laugh. Piercingly loud chakles that rang with the least amount of humor, it was an evil horrible laugh that belonged to a maniac. He started to scream as he backed away from the house, “You told didn’t you Ethan!! You told them!! HAHAHA.” His laughter continued endlessly, “You’re fucking weak! Fucking pathetic I can’t believe I fucking wasted my time on you!!” Danny was not standing in the street screaming like a psychopath, “YOU’RE GOING TO FUCKING PAY ETHAN, YOU HEAR ME?” 

A loud whimper was heard from inside the house which made Tyler’s heart break, “Stay the fuck away!” Tyler exclaimed while slamming the door behind him and locking it. He then ran to the living room to see Ethan sitting with his knees pulled to his chest and his chin resting on his knees. Tears were threatening to fall from his eyes while his whole frame shook slightly. 

The curly haired man’s heart broke even more as he hurried over to Ethan. He sat down next to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulder in a comforting manner. “I’m sorry Ethan I didn’t know it was him, but he’s gone now.” 

Ethan shook his head and wiped a few stray tears, “No I should be sorry.” His voice was small and sounded so broken, “I shouldn’t have burdened you guys.”   
Tyler looked at him with a sad look, “No Ethan it is not a burden.” Once again Ethan shook his head and was about to protest but before he could Tyler continued to talk, “Don’t try to argue Ethan. You did the right thing telling us.” 

The blue boy still wasn’t convinced and just became even more confused as to why Tyler was so insistent that it wasn’t a problem, “Why do you guys care so much?” Ethan immediately regretted wording it how he did, guilt began to eat away at him when he saw Tyler’s hurt expression, “No I didn’t mean to sound me, I’m sorry. I just- I can’t understand why everyone is I dunno, I guess sad?” Ethan took a deep breath trying to keep another anxiety attack at bay, “It’s just I thought that anyone I told would call me weak and just deprecate me for telling.” 

“Ethan we care so much because you are our friend hell forget friend you are family.” Tyler spoke softly with much love and comfort in his voice. He gently lifted Ethan’s chin so his dull green eyes met his own, “We love you so much Ethan. Words can not explain how much you mean to us, especially to me.” Their faces were merely inches apart, the smaller males uneven breath was felt against Tyler’s scruffy face. If it wasn’t for the entire situation or his own uncertainty, Tyler would have closer the gap between the two and admit his love for the blue haired boy. 

Ethan felt his cheeks heat up and his hands started to tremble at how close they were. Ethan knew he could trust Tyler but the closeness was making him uneasy. He wasn’t sure if it was fear or if it was false hope. Ethan was hoping the space between would go away so they could connect their lips but he knew that wasn’t going to happen. 

After a few minutes they both pulled away with a soft blush evident on both their faces. Ethan straightened himself out and checked the time on his watch. “I’m gonna uh, wash up before the food gets here.” Tyler nodded his head and pulled out his phone. 

Ethan left the room and made his way to the bathroom. Once he got there he debated whether or not to wash his face. He decided for it because he has nothing to hide now, Tyler knows the truth. Washing away the makeup Ethan wiped his face dry and looked into the mirror. The ugly bruises still decorated his face harshly causing the blue haired boy to sigh. 

Leaving the bathroom Ethan came back to the living room to see Tyler layout a box of pizza and a few sodas for them on the coffee table. When Tyler looked up at him, Ethan can tell the shock expression on his face when he finally for the first time saw the evidence of Ethan’s abuse. The blue boy gazed down sheepishly but thankfully Tyler didn’t press the topic anymore and called him over to the couch. 

“Come on I’ll put a movie one.” Tyler suggested while grabbing the remote, “What do you want to watch?” 

Ethan thought for a moment and responded, “Wanna see Rise of The Guardians?” Tyler agreed and set the movie up as Ethan took their slices for them. 

They both settled back into the couch with a content sigh while eating the pizza and enjoying the movie. Half way through the movie Tyler wrapped his arm around the blue boy and once he looked up at him Tyler just smiled brightly as his and turned his attention back to the movie. Ethan’s face became flush but he tried to ignore it. ‘Tyler’s probably just trying to be comforting don’t think too deep into it.’ Ethan told himself but nonetheless settled into the bigger man’s side.Tyler may seem like a rock solid giant but to Ethan’s surprise he was soft and gentle. 

Sighing once more Ethan curled up more into Tyler’s side and practically melted when he ran his enormous hands carefully through his blue hair. For the first time in awhile Ethan felt completely safe, all thanks to Tyler. 

And so Tyler and Ethan both enjoyed the rest of the night in each others company and watched movie after movie all the while being completely oblivious to their mutual feeling of the other.


	6. facade

Friday came sooner than Ethan thought which made him on edge and a bit skittish. In all honesty he was terrified because it was the start of the first weekend Ethan got to spend with his friends and not with Danny. Somewhere in the back of his mind, a voice was screaming at Ethan that he needed to go back to Danny because the thing was Danny was familiar. No matter how fucked up it was, the relationship and dynamics were something Ethan was used to. So for him now to suddenly be free of that and be able to make his own decisions all the while independent, it was something short of intimidating. 

The office was quiet as everyone began to finish up their work for the week. Ethan was the first to finish and was now sitting on the floor playing with Chica. Tyler looked over at the boy lovingly as a fond smile played on his lips. He shut his computer down and approached Eth slowly as to not startle him. No matter how careful he was Ethan still flinched slightly as Tyler crouched down next to him and began to pet Chica. 

“So huh what are we doing tonight?” Ethan asked unsurely while barely making eye contact with Tyler. He was getting better at it but Tyler knew Ethan was still weary of looking people in the eyes for too long. 

“How about we go to the dine in theater and see Beauty and The Beast?” Tyler suggested warmth bursted through his chest once Ethan’s lips curled into a shy smile, “I know how much you love their milkshakes.” 

A blush rose to Ethan's cheeks and the rose pink contrasted oddly with the now fading bruises that were a sickly yellow. Ethan only wore makeup when he was filming now a days but since it was friday Ethan allowed his face to breath for once. 

Tyler smiled warmly again and lifted his head to look around the room at everyone else, “Would anyone like to join us?” Tyler inquired, secretly hoping they couldn’t. 

“Sorry can’t, I promise Sean I’d skype him.” Mark said, he couldn’t help but smirk.

“Amy? Kathryn?” Tyler turned to the two girls who were next to each other giggling up a storm. 

“Sorry but Amy and I are gonna have a sleepover.” Kathryn responded while Amy tried to contain her giggles, “But you two have fun.” 

Tyler shook his head at their childish behavior and turned his attention back to Ethan, “Alright then just the two of us.” The blush on Ethan’s face became more prominent but Tyler pretended not to notice.  
Soon after everyone cleared from the office but not without saying goodbye and promises to hang out over the weekend. The drive to the theater was uneventful, they just talked and listened to music. 

Once they got to the theater Ethan seemed to have become more less on edge and actually seemed to be happy. They made inside and Tyler bought both their tickets but not without a lot of protesting from Ethan. For a friday night the showing room was pretty empty. They quickly found their seats and got comfortable on the cushiony seats. The seats weren’t really chairs it was more so a couch that had small table that pivoted from the arm rest. 

“I’m so excited.” Ethan gushed while looking over the menu, “Definitely getting the vanilla milkshake how ‘bout you?” 

Tyler smiled at how excited Ethan was, “Probably gonna get a long island icetea. You wanna share a popcorn?” 

Ethan nodded happily, “Duuuhh of course.” At this point Ethan was practically beaming for the first time in awhile which made Tyler overjoyed. 

“Imma run to the bathroom before the movie starts.” Ethan announced making Tyler look at him. 

“You want me to come with?” Tyler asked setting down the menu. 

Ethan waved him off as he stood up, “Nah order the food I’ll be back in a sec.” Tyler nodded hesitantly. He hated the thought of Ethan going on his own but he tried to reassure himself that if anything would happen Ethan would be smart enough to tell Tyler. 

The blue haired boy made his way out of the showing room and went towards the bathroom while weaving through people who were leaving from another movie. For some reason Ethan felt as if someone was watching him but he brushed it off because he has been on edge all day so it was probably his mind playing games. He quickly entered the bathroom and did his business. When he was washing his hands he heard the door open but didn’t pay much attention to it until a hand was placed on his shoulder causing him to jump at the unexpected contact. 

As soon as he turned around his eyes were met with very familiar brown voidless eyes that made his mouth run dry and his hand start to shake. He opened his mouth to say something but his tongue was ensnared with a crushing lack of words. 

“Funny running into you here.” Danny said with sardonic smile that went from ear to ear. His perfect white teeth were on display as his hand ran down Ethan’s side then laid idle on his hip, “I missed you.” The grip on his hip became tighter causing Ethan to gasp. 

The blue haired boy could not believe this was happening, out of all the places he could have ran into Danny it had to have been alone in a bathroom away from everyone, including Tyler. Ethan felt his heart pounding in his ear when he realized that he was just a stray sheep that has been cornered by the wolf. 

Danny’s grip became impossible tighter while he pulled the smaller male closer to him. His lips never lost the same shit eating grin as he leaned closer to the trembling boy and whispered in his ear, “Did you think you could stay away from me for long?” His voice was rough and laced with an underlying sense of lust that terrified Ethan. “I’m sorry did I ruin your precious date with that fucking freak?” 

Ethan felt a stab in his heart when he realized Danny was talking about Tyler. “Don’t bring him into this.” Ethan tried to sound intimidating but it came out more like a plead making Danny laugh pitifully. 

“Aw it’s so cute when you try to sound tough.” Danny commented as he suddenly removed his hand from Ethan’s hip and abruptly grabbed his butt. Memories flashed through Ethan’s mind from horrible past events making him want to throw up. 

Without thinking Ethan grabbed Danny’s wrist and forcefully ripped him off. Danny was slightly shocked at Ethan’s sudden boldness, giving the blue haired boy to maneuver away from Danny and place good distance between them. 

“You’re pathetic you know?” Danny said looking at the boy with mock sadness, “You actually think they care about you, don’t you?” His eyes seemed to have soften but Ethan knew not to let his guard down, “When will you understand I’m the only one who could ever love you.” Danny let out a soft chuckle that almost sounded loving. Almost. 

“It was never love.” Ethan responded clenching his fists tightly, “You never loved me. I was just a toy for your entertainment.” 

“You meant more to me than that.” Danny tried to defend himself but they both knew it was a lie. 

“I guess you’re right cause I was also your punching bag.” Ethan knew he was testing his luck but he never felt this confident in front of Danny before. “We are done.” Ethan made his way to the door. 

“You may be but I’m just getting started.” A evil smile returned to Danny’s lips as he crossed his arms over his chest, “But go ahead and leave. All I’m going to say is watch your fucking back.” His voice was sharp and threatening but Ethan was determined to keep his facade of a solid composure. Ethan left the bathroom without looking back and went back to the assigned showing room. 

Making his way back to his seat Ethan forced himself to calm down. Once he was in his seat he was greeted by Tyler, “Hey I was about to go look for you. Are you okay?” 

Ethan played with the idea of telling Tyler about Danny but he decided against it because he believed it would just cause unnecessary drama, “I’m good, there just was a long line.” Tyler nodded in response making Ethan sigh in relief as he bought the lie. The two of them continued to talk for a few minutes until the waiter came over and brought them their popcorn and drinks. 

“You are so lucky you are of age to drink.” Ethan whined as he watched Tyler take a sip of his alcoholic beverage. 

Tyler smiled and put down his drink, “Oh come on you’re turning 21 in a month so don’t you worry.” Ethan still pouted as he took a few pieces of popcorn, “How about this during the movie you can have some of my drink.” 

This made Ethan smile in content and he let out a small ‘yay’. Tyler shook his head at his adorable behavior. 

Soon after the waiter came the movie began causing the boys to get comfortable in their seats. No matter how much Ethan tried to find a comfortable position it didn’t work. Tyler noticed this and nonchalantly put his arm over the blue boy’s shoulder and pull him into his side. Ethan let out a quiet welp at the sudden movement but allowed himself to be pulled in. At last Ethan was comfortable and he nuzzled into Tyler’s side some more. For some reason now a days this was normal for the two of them to be this close and practically cuddle one and another. They both tried to convince themselves it didn’t mean anything just a friend comforting a friend but they were still oblivious to the on growing connection between them.


	7. important author's note and explanation

hello everyone, I have a few things to talk about and I felt like it was too important to just put it in an end note. 

First off I would like to thank everyone for getting me to 1K hits within such a short amount of time. It's honestly insane how much you guys support the story, thank you for every bookmark, comment of even kudo! Thank you for enjoying the story so much and I hope you enjoy it even more as it progresses. 

Next I would like to bring to attention the whole reason for this book. As you an tell abuse plays a huge role in this story but it's not just "fun" theme I chose to write the story along the lines of. The theme of abuse plays into a much bigger picture of the story and the whole point of the story is to tell my story in a sense. Everything that I write/will write in this book has happened to me when I was still in an abusive relationship. I'm not just bullshitting the story as I go and writing cliche stories about someone who is abused finding love again, I've lived through it all and I was to explain through my writing what may actually happen in an abusive relationship and what the long term after effects may consist of. This may not what every abusive relationship is like but this is how mine was. Everything in here is from my experiences and mine alone. Once again I'd like to reiterate that this story is not being written by some heartless author that has never even seen what abuse can do, It's written by someone who has lived through it and in the end would like tell her story through the form of a fanfiction. 

That's just about all I have to say but honestly thank you so much for the incredible support and love of the story, it means the world. the next chapter should be out either later today to tomorrow. but once again thank you <3

-stephy


	8. holding on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys so much for the support on the explanation chapter it means a lot <3 this chapter is a bit of a filler but has a lot of important details so keep your eyes peeled ;)

Ethan woke up with a gasp one night, his breathing was rugged and his heart beat could be felt in his ears. Sitting up Ethan rubbed at his eyes trying to forget the horrid nightmare he just had. This wasn’t a new thing, even before he left Danny, he occasionally woke in the middle of the night from a horrible memory that managed to worm its way into his dreams. But now more so than ever, Danny seems to be haunting his dreams. 

Taking a deep breath Ethan forced himself to sit up and try to calm down before his anxiety took completely over. He wiped a hand over his face and noticed for the first time the tears that collected in his eyes have made their way down his cheeks. 

The blue haired boy didn’t even realize the door to his room opened until he heard a soft gravelly voice, “Ethan are you okay?” Tyler’s voice was thick with sleep causing Ethan to curse at himself for waking the poor guy. 

“I’m fine.” He said unsurely. Tyler slipped into the room and sat next to him, “Sorry if I woke you, It was just a bad dream.” 

Tyler looked at him sadly, “Don’t be I was awake and heard you crying from my room, love.” The curly haired man studied to smaller male next to him and noticed the dark circles under his eyes that has came from countless nights of no sleep. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

Thinking for a moment Ethan shrugged his small shoulders unsurely. “I don’t know, cause the dreams are usually just memories.” Ethan frowned when he accidentally made himself remember the dream. “And I don’t want to bother you with them.” 

Tyler thought for a moment, thinking of the best way to approach the situation, “Okay well do you want to talk about some of the memories?” he suggested gingerly his face softening when he saw fear flash through Ethan’s mostly emotionless eyes. “It’s okay, you can tell me as much as you want and I won’t push it. I just want you to know that you are safe to share anything, I won’t ever judge or you belittle you.” 

Ethan looked at Tyler hesitantly, “You promise?” His voice held the least bit of confidence that broke Tyler’s heart. It was becoming blatantly clear that Ethan has devolved trust issues even with his closest friends. 

“I promise I won’t ever, no matter what, judge you.” Tyler stated reassuringly confident, he then rose his hand and held up three fingers, “Scouts honor.” Ethan chuckled lightly at the seemingly silly action but in all honesty he was deeply thankful because he knows no matter what Tyler would never break a scout's promise. 

“Okay,” the blue haired boy took a deep breath and let it out steadily, “Okay, I don’t know an exact thing to start with.” Ethan bit his lip as he tried to think.

“How about starting with the argument that happened at the office?” Tyler suggested carefully, really wanting to know what was the final push that unraveled the truth. 

Ethan nodded his head, “Okay yeah.” His hands started to fidget with the hem of his soft pajama shirt, “So uh when we walked into the office I put down the flowers and I could already tell he was upset about something.” He took another deep breath and continued, “So he came up behind me and whispered into my ear that he wanted to “talk in private” so I brought him to another room and,” a slight tremble started in Ethan’s hands, “and he immediately started to accuse me of cheating on him with you.” 

“Sorry to interject, but why would he think that?” Tyler asked trying to understand more. 

“He uh doesn’t like when I’m um alone with people,” Ethan started to explain, “One of the rules were I wasn’t allowed to spend extended time alone with people, and so he got extremely angry when we went out to eat.”

“Hold up, sorry again, but did you just say one of his rules?” Tyler asked getting a slight nod of Ethan’s head, “So you mean there are rules, like more than one?” Getting another nod, Tyler stared in disbelief. 

“Yeah sorry I didn’t explain that at the office.” Ethan said sheepishly while his teeth nibbled on his bottom lip, “There were a lot of rules.” 

“Okay you can talk about that next or another time,” Tyler spoke still in his state of disbelief, “But what else happened at the office.” 

Ethan sighed as his fidgeting hands played with the hem of his shirt, “Well the rest went pretty fast, he started to yell louder about me being unfaithful and I raised my voice slightly, pleading with him to quiet down before someone heard,” Tear whelmed in Ethan’s eyes but before they could fall he wiped them away. “He got even more mad that I dared to raise my voice at him. He grabbed the first thing next to him which was a vase and threw it in my direction. It landed on the floor in front of me.” Ethan paused for a minute to calm himself down before he had a panic attack from the flashbacks. 

“It’s okay you don’t have to continue.” Tyler spoke softly and carefully placed a comforting hand on Ethan's thigh. To his surprise Ethan did not flinch or jump, he just looked down at the hand and then but to Tyler’s eyes. 

“No, I gotta finish this one.” Ethan responded and continued when Tyler gave him another reassuring nod, “Danny got louder and told me that it was my fault that he broke the vase. I tried to defend myself but he got angrier and I don’t know why but grabbed the glass table and smashed it front of him.” For a moment the only thing Ethan heard was the repeated sound of the glass colliding with the floor, “His anger went down and he just stared at me while saying, ‘Look what you caused.’ He held his strong gaze with me while passing me. But before he left he snapped at me to clean the mess I made.” Ethan ran his hand through his hair finishing the story in a quick breath, “He left and then you found me.” 

Tyler swallowed his on growing anger towards the terrible excuse of a human, and spoke as softly as he could, “I’m sorry Ethan. I’m sorry you had to go through all this” If anything Tyler’s respect and admiration for Ethan skyrocketed because even though Ethan has been treated like genuine shit he still managed to be kind and compassionate to everyone around him.

“Don’t be.” Ethan responded wearily, “I kinda don’t want to talk anymore about him right now.” The tremble in his hand went away but most of his nerves will still jittering. 

“Yeah of course,” Tyler said turning to look at the clock, “You want to go back to sleep? It’s 2 in the morning.” Ethan nodded in response but instantly missed the contact once   
Tyler removed his hand from his thigh. 

Tyler reluctantly stood up and was about to leave the room but quickly stopped in his place when he heard a small voice behind him, “Tyler, can you uh s-stay?” Ethan’s voice was full of uncertainty and was laced with embarrassment, “I-I don’t wanna be a-alone tonight. I’m sorry, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. 

The curly haired man turned around and flashed a warm smile in the boy who was still on the bed, “I was hoping you would ask.” Tyler immediately kicked himself in the ass for being so bold but was soon relieved when Ethan flashed in a small smile. 

Ethan laid down on the bed and scooted over so Tyler could slip in. The bed wasn’t the biggest for the two of them but they couldn’t care less. As soon as Tyler was settled he wrapped his strong arms around the small boy and pulled him close onto his chest. Ethan was a bit stiff at first but he quickly melted into the latter’s chest as he let out a contented sigh. His breathing soon evened out as he was lulled to sleep by the rhythmic beating of Tyler’s heart. As sleep slowly blurred the rough edges of Ethan’s mind, the blue haired boy could have sworn he heard a muffled voice whisper ‘I love you’ in the softest way possible but in Ethan’s sleep daze he brushed it off as his mind playing games. Not even within 5 minutes of laying down Ethan was soon dead to the world around him as he was plunged into a peaceful rest for the first time in forever.


	9. nobody expect for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> that escalated quickly oops but you're welcome.

The next morning for the first time in awhile Ethan did get startled awake from a nightmare. His breathing was not rigid nor was heart pounding in his ear. He finally woke up calm and refreshed. Shifting slightly in bed Ethan’s eyebrows furrowed together when he realized there was no one next time. The spot where Tyler was sleeping was still radiating a bit warmth. Ethan immediately missed that warmth that wrapped around him during the night and made him feel safe. He missed Tyler. 

Ethan sighed and pushed himself off the bed trying not to think much into why Tyler left. Negative thoughts tried to worm their way into his thoughts and raise panic within the poor boy but Ethan was strong enough not to listen to them this time. The blue boy grabbed a throw blanket from his bed and wrapped himself in it trying to contain us much warmth as he could. Shuffling out of his room Ethan made his way towards the kitchen. Once he made it close enough the scent of food being cooked hit his nose and made his stomach rumble. Drifting towards the kitchen Ethan found himself standing in the doorway and staring at the sight of Tyler flipping pancakes and frying some eggs. 

“Damn, smells good,” Ethan complemented, stepping into the room and making himself be known. 

Tyler jumped slightly, “Holy shit Ethan you scared me.” letting out a joyous laugh. 

Ethan chuckled as he got near the taller male, “Sorry,” Peering over the pan Ethan saw a few pancakes cooking, “So are all these for you, or are you gonna share?” 

“Obviously they are for me,” Tyler joked but felt bad when Ethan’s smile faltered, “I’m just joking Eth, of course their for the both of us.” Ethan’s smile came back slightly but he didn’t say anything as he pulled out a chair and rested his head on his hand. Tyler turned back to him and noticed he seemed to be deep in thought, “Whatcha thinkin ‘bout?” He flipped another pancake. 

“Nothing important.” Ethan said seeming to want to say more but holding himself back. 

“You sure?” Tyler questioned grabbing the now cooked food and bringing it over to table, “Cause even if you don’t think it’s important you can still tell me if you want. I’m always up for convo with you.” Tyler flashed him a genuine smile that made Ethan’s heart melt. 

“Just thinking ‘bout last night.” Ethan grabbed a few pancakes and began to eat once he put syrup on them. 

“What about last night?” Tyler asked once he got his own food.

“Just I’m really sorry for waking you,” Ethan bit his lip but forced himself to continue, “And I’m really sorry for throwing my problems on you. And I’m sorry for forcing you to stay last night. I’m sorry.” It was easy to tell Ethan was getting himself worked up. 

“You didn’t force me to do anything.” Tyler said reassuringly, “And you sure as hell don’t need to apologize for telling me how you feel or for what happened.” His voice held so much confidence. 

“Why?” Ethan asked looking at Tyler sadly. 

“Why what Eth?” Tyler’s voice was as ginger as ever. 

“Why do you care so much about me?” Ethan asked as a few tears whelmed in his eyes, “Why haven’t you turned on me?”

“Why would I ever turn on you Eth? Why would I not care.” Tyler challenged softly. 

“Because I’m fucking pathetic Tyler, I’m fucking weak.” Ethan shouted more so to himself than at Tyler, “I can’t do shit on my own and I rely too much on you.” 

“Ethan-” Tyler tried to protest but he was cut off. 

“No Tyler I am. Don’t even try to argue it because it’s true!” Tears flowed freely from Ethan’s eyes as he got up from his seat and paced around the room. “I couldn’t even defend myself with Danny, I am fucking weak.” 

Tyler got up, “Ethan you are not weak, you are the strongest person I know.” he tried to talk Ethan down but the blue haired boy was too caught up yelling at himself to even hear Tyler. 

“The funniest part of all this is even though Danny has completely fucked me over, I miss him.” Ethan laughed humorously, “I miss him! Ha! Can you fucking believe that, I miss him.” Ethan’s voice was dripping with pure disgust and self hatred 

“Why? Why do you miss him?” Tyler asked and Ethan actually heard him this time. 

“BECAUSE HE’S THE ONLY ONE WHO COULD EVER LOVE ME.” Ethan exclaimed slamming his hand on the table painfully. “He’s the only one.” Sobs consumed Ethan has he finally said the one thing that he never wanted to admit out loud. The deep dark twisted truth has come to light. Ethan fell to his knees as sobs took over causing his body to shake violently. 

With no hesitation Tyler dropped down next to the sobbing boy and grabbed him on his shoulder, “Ethan that is not true.” The blue boy shook his head harshly, “It’s not the truth. That is Danny talking. Everyone loves you.” 

“No, no one loves me like Danny did,” Ethan was able to get out between sobs, “No one romantically. Danny’s right nobody could love me but him. He loved me.” The blue haired boy was becoming frantic. 

“No Ethan no, what he gave you was not love. It wasn’t love!” Tyler’s voice was near a shout and caused Ethan to flinch but right now Tyler was only concerned of making Ethan hear him, “He did not love you Ethan.” 

“He taught me things no one else can, he guided me and loved me when I was good.” Ethan responded as his breathing picked up, “If he didn’t love me who the hell will?” desperation was clear in Ethan’s voice. 

“Fucking hell,” Tyler spoke before he could stop himself, “I love you.” 

Ethan completely froze then shakingly looked up at the taller man with wide eyes, “What?” 

Tyler took a deep breath and committed, “I love you, okay? I love you so much.” 

“You love me as a friend though Tyler.” Ethan clarified not allowing himself to believe Tyler.

“No Ethan, I love you more than a friend, more than a roommate, I love you.” 

Ethan shook his head in disbelief, “You don’t mean it. You’re justing saying that because of everything that has happened, I tricked you into believing you do.” 

Tyler shook his head, “You didn’t trick me into doing shit, I’ve been in love with you since you moved to LA. I am in love with you Ethan, more than you could ever know.” Ethan did not respond but more tears filled his eyes. Tyler pulled him close and just   
allowed Ethan to cry into his chest. The blue haired boy wound his arms around Tyler’s neck, clinging on as if his life depended on it. In the moment it seemed as if his life did. 

An unknown amount of minutes passed until Ethan has finally calmed down and leaned quietly on Tyler’s chest except for the occasional hiccup that managed to escape. Tyler looked down at the silent boy and just took him in. His hair was a complete mess, tear tracks ran down his red cheeks, and he had a runny nose. But no matter what even in that moment, Tyler believed Ethan still looked completely beautiful. 

The blue haired boy tilted his head up and was met with blue eyes already staring at him, “Do you really mean it?” His voice held the least bit of confidence and a small amount of hope. 

Tyler smiled warmly, “I do, I meant everything.” He held up 3 fingers and added, “Scouts honor.” Tyler knew how Ethan completely believed him when he makes scout promises. 

Ethan giggled timidly trying to form the proper words to respond with, “Well uh in that case, I uh love you too.” Both boys gleamed at each other with so much happiness that it was easy to forget the previous events that happened. 

Tyler boldly cupped Ethan’s face in his hands and pulled him into a gentle kiss. Once their lips connected Ethan immediately was hit with an overwhelming sense of love and warmth. Tylers lips were soft and smooth as they pressed against Ethan’s. It was nothing like how Danny kissed Ethan, Danny was always forceful and cold when he kissed him. But Tyler didn’t force anything, he didn’t trip to slip his tongue into his mouth or bite Ethan’s lip. He just took what he was given and gave back the exact amount. A simple soft kiss that held much more deeper meaning than either of them can understand. 

They pulled away and just stared deeply into each other's eyes as a smile grew on both their faces. ‘Maybe things will be okay. Maybe Danny was wrong.’ Ethan thought to himself as he and Tyler continued to stare at one in another. In that moment it seemed as if everything was finally going to be okay.


	10. beach day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am extremely sorry for the very late update but i have been so busy lately, im very sorry but i hope you enjoy this chapter <3

Days have passed since Tyler and Ethan’s moment in the kitchen, it seemed as if neither one of them wanted to bring it up. It was a warm Saturday afternoon and the members of Teamiplier were on their way to the beach. Even Pam decided to join causing them to split into 2 cars the girls in one and the boys in the other. 

In the boy’s car Tyler was driving while Ethan sat in the passenger with the AUX cord and Mark sat in the back scrolling through his phone giggling occasionally. 

“What are you so giddy about back there?” Tyler asked looking up at Mark’s reflection in the rearview mirror. Mark was biting his lip slightly and glanced up from his phone. 

“Oh just some silly things Sean is sending me.” Mark responded causing Tyler to throw a sideways glance at Ethan who had a slight smirk. 

“Oh reeeaaaally,” Ethan said dramatically and turned to Mark in his seat, “You should just tell him how you feel you know.” 

Uncertainty flashed through Mark’s face, “I’m not sure about that. Maybe one day.” He ran a hand through his hair and sighed, “So uh how are doing? With you know the whole Danny thing?” Mark asked hoping to change the subject. 

Ethan shrugged his shoulders, “I’m not sure really, I’m finding it hard to move on you know.” The blue boy’s hands unconsciously fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. “It’s really hard.”

“I understand,” Mark responded gingerly, “How about your anxiety?” 

“It's becoming a bit more controllable but sometimes I get flashbacks and remember things I don’t want to and it just throws me into a full uncontrollable panic attack.” Ethan said lowly receiving sad looks from both Mark and Tyler. 

“I’m sorry,” Mark’s voice was filled with nothing but love and support, “It must be tough for you.” 

Ethan remained silent and so Tyler jumped in, “It is an everyday battle but he’ll be okay. I’ll make sure of it.” Ethan casted Tyler a thankful look which he returned with a warm smile. Not too soon after Tyler was pulling into a parking spot next to the girls car. Almost as soon as Ethan exited the car he was engulfed in a surprise hug from none other than 

Pam causing Ethan to tense slightly but he forced himself to relax. He still wasn’t too fond of sudden contact from anyone other than Tyler.

“Oh my gosh Ethan I haven’t seen you in forever!” Pam exclaimed when she pulled away. 

Ethan smiled, “I think it’s been since A Date With Markiplier, right?” Ethan responded as everyone gathered their belongings and walk towards the beach. 

“Mhmm, It’s good to see you.” Pam smiled warmly and soon left to catch up with the girls. 

Ethan grabbed his bag and turned around to see Tyler still waiting for him, “Hey you sure you’re okay with this?” Tyler looked concerned, he didn’t want the younger male to feel uncomfortable being at the beach. 

“Yeah I should be,” Ethan bit his lip a bit out of habit, “It’s a small beach right? Like not many people there?” The blue haired boy looked up at the taller male hopefully. 

Tyler smiled down at him, “Yes it is. Not many people come to this beach.” Relief visibly washed from Ethan’s face. 

“Ok then I should be fine taking my shirt off,” Ethan sighed, “The scarring on my back isn’t so bad but it’s still very noticeable.” his voice dropped sadly for a second. 

“Don’t worry okay? Everyone here loves you and no one is going to judge.” Tyler reassured him but Ethan only responded with a nod. The two of them continued to walk until they made it to the area where everyone else is. Mark of course was alreading shirtless and Amy soon followed in suit taking off her cover clothes. She grabbed Mark’s arm and practically dragged him to the water. As they went off many faint yells of protests could be heard from the Mark causing everyone to giggle. Kathryn had already set up her beach chair and pulled out a magazine to read. Pam was right next to her laying out a towel while putting on sunscreen. 

Ethan looked over at Tyler who was pulling his shirt over his head. His teeth began to nibble at his bottom lip as Ethan hesitantly grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled off the fabric. As soon as the shirt was off a small gasp was heard from Pam but she was quickly quieted down by Kathryn. She leaned over and whispered something to her and Pam nodded in response. 

The blue haired boy was beginning to feel a bit self conscious but with one look from Tyler it quickly melted away. “Gosh you look amazing.” Tyler commented has he offered his hand. 

“Shut up.” Ethan blushed grabbing at the outstretched hand. The both of them made their way towards the water and stopped when they got near. Mark was still yelling at Amy who was trying to pull him in more. 

“Amy I sweAR TO GOD SOMETHING TOUCHED MY FOOT.” Mark screamed not so manly, pulling a giggle from them all. 

“Stop being such a baby!” Amy yelled back tugging harder. The two of them weren’t even at hip level but Mark was still freaking out. Both Tyler and Ethan moved into the cold water and passed Amy and Mark. Amy pointed at the two of them dramatically, “See look at them and how far they’re out. Cooooome ooooon.” Mark grumbled something under his breath but took a few steps so he was above hip level. 

“I am not going any farther, you gotta deal with it.” Mark proclaimed crossing his arms over his chest childishly. Amy smirked at him and splashed water at his face, “Hey not cool!” Mark exclaimed firing back with more water. 

The two of them continued their splashing fight until Ethan somehow managed to get into the crossfire which causes him to splash the two of them. Soon enough Tyler even joined in, creating a 4 way splash war. This went on for awhile until they decided to just jump swim around and jump a few waves. 

Soon after they became tired and swam back to shore where Pam and Kathryn were wading in shallow water. “Oh look who decided to come back just in time for lunch.” Kathryn pointed out teasingly, “Come on I laid out the food for us.” 

Everyone began to walk towards their area and Ethan followed until a gentle hand grabbed his wrist. “Hey Eth can I talk to you for a second?” Pam asked pulling the blue haired boy aside. 

Ethan glanced over unsure towards Tyler who in return gave him a reassuring smile. “Yeah sure what’s up?” His hands started to fidget with the wet strings of his swim trunks. 

Pam took a small deep breath, “Kathryn explained some things to me.” Ethan nodded for her to continue, “Like about your ex boyfriend and the things he’s done.” 

The blue haired boy’s eyes casted down for a second as he let out a soft ‘oh’. 

Pam looked panicked because the last thing she wanted to do was upset Ethan, “I don’t know how exactly to put this, but you should know you’re not alone. I understand completely what you went through.” 

“You mean you..” Ethan trailed off but continued once Pam nodded in confirmation, “When?” The blue haired boy’s eyes softened when he realized what Pam was telling him. 

“It was my first year of college, I was a stupid naive freshman and he seemed like a flawless senior.” Pam bit her lip, “Long story short everything was perfect until it wasn’t. I got out 2 years later but the damage was done.” 

Ethan started at her in some sort of daze, “Pam I had no idea, I’m sorry.” 

Pam shook her head, “No it was years ago and I’m better now. And just like me, you will be too one day.” without thinking Pam through her arms around Ethan. She did not miss the way he flinched and stiffened at the sudden contact but he soon eased himself to hug her back. “Everything is going to be okay. The pain won’t last forever. I’m living proof of it.” 

Ethan tightened the hug slightly but soon they both pulled away. “Let’s go back to them before they eat all the food.” Ethan suggested sending Pam a smile. 

Once they returned to their area they were met with the team pulling them down and passing around the food. Ethan of course sat next to Tyler who placed his arm around the smaller boy. The blue haired boy smiled towards the giant and started to pick at the food on his plate. While he ate, Ethan stayed comfortably silent but still listened to jumbled up mess of jokes and laughter from all his friends. Once and awhile he joined in laughing with everyone else. The atmosphere around them all was nothing but joy and familiarity which comforted the blue haired boy to no end. Nothing else mattered in the world because Ethan was with his friends and the guy he was in love with. He wanted to be there and they wanted him there. For once he was somewhere where he was wanted. He was with his with his friends, his second family.


	11. teamiplier discord server?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> not an update sorry!

hey guys, im extremely sorry for not uploading in awhile but the next chapter is gonna be done soon dont you worry! 

I wanted to tell you all that i made a Teamiplier discord server! the server is an amazing community and everyone there is so nice! 

Some benefits of joining the server: 

-meet some hella amazing people  
\- a safe place to fangirl about everything teamiplier  
\- awesome group chat conversations and voice calls  
\- we even have times where we read this story in voice calls  
\- did i mention meeting amazing cool people? 

 

please consider joining because everyone is welcome! i promise you, you will have an amazing time ^^

https://discord.gg/9c7YZPh


	12. IM SORRY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY

im sorry! things are taking a lot longer to write because ive been going through a lot of stuff right now in relation to my ex and other personal things but feel free to yell and or talk to me on my discord server! 

the old link was accidentally revoked so heres a new one! 

https://discord.gg/9c7YZPh

feel free to join because we are a very lonely bunch here ;-;


	13. what is love?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY FOR BEING AWAY FOR SO LONG. These last few months have been so hectic and insane im so sorry. I'm dealing with a lot of stuff still in regards to my abusive ex making this story hard and painful to write, and as well as over the summer I had 2 knee surgeries and i was hella hopped up on drugs so i would not have been able to write anything. But since i am doing better I'm going to try and get more out! again i am so sorry for the delay and this is a pretty dull and shitty filler chapter. sorry.

“HOLD THE FUCK UP,” Mark bellowed while staring in disbelief at Tyler who was sat next to the man in the car with a small smug smile on his face. “YOU MEAN TO FUCKING TELL YOU TWO KISSED?!” Mark mouth dropped when Tyler nodded confidently. “WHAT THE FUCK?!” 

Tyler ran his hand through his hair, “I would really appreciate it you’d stop yelling because I am right fucking here.” 

“Sorry, sorry, just wow. Dude you and Ethan kissed.” Mark gestured a bit dramatically “like actual lips to lips smooch.”

Tyler nodded, “Please don’t ever call it that again and okay it has been established that we kissed, I don’t know what to do next.” 

“You mean to tell me you two haven’t made any more moves?” Mark asked but continued once Tyler shook his head. “Okaaay wow.” 

“I know, I wanna take him on a date but I wanna make is special. Because he means the world to me.” Tyler said a small blush rose to his cheeks. 

Mark’s hands found their way to his chest and over his heart and he let out a slightly feminine, ‘awwwwweee’. The blush on Tyler’s face became more prominent. “Don’t you worry a curly hair on your little head, I believe whatever you do it’ll be amazing and he’ll love.” The blush on Tyler’s face deepened. 

Before Tyler can respond, Marks phone went off with a text from Jack. “Looks like Jack is here, come one he may need help with the luggage.” Mark and Tyler got out of the car and went inside the airport looking for the green haired man who shouldn’t been so hard to find. Soon enough they spotted him standing next to luggage claim. Once they made it to him, Tyler could easily tell that Mark was becoming more nervous. 

The two of them hugged and when Jack moved to give Tyler a quick hug Tyler see how red Marks face was. They exchanged welcoming words and were soon on their way out of the airport towards Mark’s car. Putting the luggage in the trunk Tyler quickly slide into the backseat so Jack could sit in the front seat with Mark. This caused said driver to give Tyler a look that easily read ‘I know what you’re doing’ in which responds with an innocent smile. The drive to Mark’s was pretty boring except for a bit of chatting. 

Once they pulled into Mark’s place they all get out and bring in Jack’s bags. “Man I’m so glad you’re gonna be visiting for 2 months! Like i got so many awesome collab videos.” Marl blabbered without trying to hide his excitement. 

“I’m glad I’m here too,” Jack flashed Mark a warm cheeky smile, “I really needed to get away from Ireland for a bit, ever since Signe and I broke up things were getting a little rough.” Jack’s face dropped for a moment at the mention of Signe but quickly he replaced it with a smile that seemed almost too perfect to be real. 

“Oh my god Jack!” a voice from the kitchen called out followed by a flash of blue hair sprinting past everyone only to ungracefully smash into Jack while ending in a hug for the green haired man. “It’s so good to see you! It feels like forever!” Ethan exclaimed happily pulling away from the Irish man. 

“Ethan! My god have you gotten taller?” Jack joked ruffling his blue hair as if he was a child. Amy and Kathryn came out of the kitchen as well to greet the foreigner.  
Ethan turned his attention to Tyler who looked down at him lovingly, “Tyler come here I gotta show you things.” he said grabbing Tyler’s bigger hand and dragging him to the kitchen. Once entering the kitchen Tyler saw a bunch of different types of food ranging from pizza and mashed potatoes to mac and cheese, it seemed like a little of everything that everyone liked. 

“My god you and the girls certainly weren’t lying when you said you’d cook dinner for us all.” Tyler exclaimed wrapping an arm around the smiling boy but he didn’t miss the way Ethan’s first response was to flinch and stiffen. 

“Sorry I should be use to sudden touch by now.” Ethan said sounding disappointed in himself. His eyes casted downwards shamefully. 

Tyler looked down at him with the softest expression possibly, “No Eth, it’s okay love. Recovery takes time,” Gently grabbing Ethan’s chin, Tyler tilts his face up so now that Ethan was looking directly into Tyler’s face, “It will take time but I will be here for you every step of the way.” Ethan smiled hopefully at the taller male and wrapped his arms around him. 

“Thanks for sticking with me through this, I know it’s been a slow process.” Ethan mumbled out from his spot, his head resting on Tyler’s broad chest.  
“It’s okay that it’s slow, as long as you keep moving forward.” Tyler said comfortingly. “You’ll be okay in the end, I’ll make sure of it.” 

Ethan didn’t respond but a small graced his face as a feeling he didn’t really recognize washed through. Was this love? The concept of that word has long since been wrongly corrected. It’s meaning has been skewed to fit everything Danny wanted. Empty promises made and words twisted forced Ethan to question everything he thought he knew about love. But standing here in Tyler’s arm made the blue haired boy's heart race and flooded him with warmth. Ethan doesn’t really remember what love is anymore but being with  
Tyler felt something closer to the truth than with Danny. 

Tyler slightly tightened his arms around Ethan and mumbled, “You’re not broken, just bent.” 

Ethan brought his head up and pulled away from Tyler a bit, “You did not just quote a P!nk song right now.” He let out a small laugh that made Tyler smile. 

“We’re not interrupting something are we?” An Irish voice spoke while entering the kitchen making the two boys who were hugging to pull apart fully. 

“Nah just having a conversation Jack.” Tyler responded with a bashful smile. 

“Okay good cause I am starving!” Mark exclaimed following Jack into the kitchen. 

“When aren’t you?” Amy commented walking in with Kathryn who was laughing. 

Soon enough everyone was sat around the table eating enjoying each others company. Chatter fluttered around the table as everyone spoke with mouthfuls of food. 

“Oh shit Ethan you made the mashed potatoes from scratch? They are bloody amazing! Just like thee ol’ mama use to make.” Jack joked while he took another spoonful of mashed potatoes. 

“Hey after we are done eating anyone wanna watch a movie?” Tyler asked as they neared the end of their meal. Everyone nodded their heads in agreement, “What movie should we watch?” 

“Rise of the Guardians!” Ethan suggested enthusiastically from his seat. 

“You always choose that movie.” Tyler responded pretending to be annoyed. 

“It’s my favorite! And besides I know you can’t say no to me.” Ethan stated sticking his tongue out childishly. 

Tyler shook his head disapprovingly but the smile never left his face. Soon enough everyone was done eating and was sitting around the tv watching Rise of the Guardians. Once again Ethan found his way next to Tyler and cuddled into his side. Ethan felt warmth flood through himself and felt safe in Tyler's arms. But the question still remained in the back of Ethan’s mind, What is love?

**Author's Note:**

> Hey thanks so much for reading I hope you enjoyed! Feed back is much appreciated ^-^ If you liked this punch that kudos button in the face like a boss!!! And I'll see you in the next chapter, buh bye!


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